I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
