The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
