i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
