the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
