I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
