So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
