i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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