Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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