btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
