I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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