My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
