At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
