My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just found puke in my bra..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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