I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
