no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
