know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
