I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
