M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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