Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
