when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
