true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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