While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
