We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
