I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
