you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
