so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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