Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
