Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
farters have to be the big spoon...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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