I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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