Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
