here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
