I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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