At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I forgot how hot balto sounded
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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