You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
