I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
