Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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