WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want nice things and good sex
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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