Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
