Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
