i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Life is so much better after having sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize