i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
