went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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