just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
