My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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