dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
