Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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