rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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