i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
