This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
