I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
