Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
