We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
