I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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