Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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