Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
