Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
