I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
