yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
