So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
