Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
