she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
