she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
