Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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